Ahhh.... a few hours of no work.

Finally we have a sunny day here! It has rained every afternoon or evening since I arrived. And it looks like it will rain again in a few hours. The clouds just drove me inside from the patio at this Starbucks. I'm here near the glorieta (huge rotary) of "El Angel" on the Paseo de La Reforma. Although it sits in the middle of this huge traffic circle it is a gathering place on weekends. It reminds me of the steps of the Metropolitan Museum of Art in NY. Vendors and shoe shine stands line the sidewalks around the glorieta. There are modern art benches and some displaced African fauna as well. Mexican tourists with their families snap pics next to the extranjeros (foreigners).

I told my taxi driver yesterday that when someone asks me how I like Mexico City I tell them "I don't know, I've only seen it from the window of a taxi!" It's such a welcome contrast to be out and about.

I 've discovered my neighborhood businesses. Argentine and Japanese restaurants with outdoor patios, a pizzeria, a dry cleaners, a seamstress, family style Mexican restaurants. And further on as the neighborhood becomes more commercial is an Office Depot. My local Sanborns is here at El Angel. On my first Saturday I took a 7 dollar taxi ride to the Sanborns two neighborhoods over. And I've had two taxis wait for me outside an Office Depot near my school. That's what happens when you Google instead of asking around.

But, I'm being completely taken care of here. Everything has continued to line up for me. Good apartment, nice neighborhood, my own personal taxi driver (we joke around and he practices his English with me). (Here's a guided tour from the front of my building- a private home that the owner converted into apartments.) My netbook is working out really well (though I HATE MS Word 2007), I feel relatively safe and while the course is hard, my teachers are very supportive. They work hard to minimize the stress to the extent that they can. My current instructor returns e-mails at 12:30 am on weeknights. He sleeps 4 hours a night. Working full time at International House and taking doing a masters degree part time.

This Starbucks may as well be on 9th and 9th in SLC. Everyone is on a laptop and a bottle of water costs 1.70 U.S. One notable difference: a private security guard strolls around waving off beggars and providing customers with laptop locks and the key to the wireless network. When I sat down Elvis Costello was playing. Just now it was Beth Orton, now Rufus Wainright. Although the familiar music is a product of the Americanization of the world at this moment I take solace in the familiar.

I had a hell of a week at school. My perfectionism was in full effect and I felt panicked preparing for my second and third teaching practices. My teacher and fellow trainees gave me glowing reviews. But last night I bombed completely. Not for lack of trying. I probably spent triple the amount of time on that lesson plan than I did on either of the other two. I was determined to nail it, working out the kinks in my previous classes. As a result I scripted out everything I would do and say in the class, made more than 20 visual aids and handouts, used my laptop as part of the lesson and had a lesson plan 3 times the length it needed to be. I followed my teacher's suggestions precisely. And in the process failed to see that I was trying to pack in too many activities for a 40 min class.

I realized my mistake about 15 mins into the lesson and was so anxious I couldn't change course effectively. Things snowballed and I failed to meet 50% of the aim of the lesson having spent too much time on vocabulary. I knew that my teacher was not going to have many good things to say when he told me he needed a few mins to reflect on my lesson before speaking to me.

I had a helpful meeting with him, understanding what I could have done differently. The first thing he said was, "how do think that went?" and then followed up with "yes, I could tell you were very tense and very much wanted to control your learners." I ended up crying despite my determination not to. And had to laugh at myself when I saw how my old friends perfectionism, need for control and people-pleasing shortcomings have shown up again.

I told my teacher that and actually it made me feel better to see what happened as part of that larger pattern. I can look at it as something to work with. It gave me perspective. Doing everything well is not the point of life. There's no doubt I'll pass the class. And I don't have the type of pressure the other students do. They will all be searching for positions here in Mexico after the course. And if they're not successful they don't have other options to gain income here. So, I'm going to try to put those insights into action. Self-knowledge without deeds amounts to nothing.

I've never been so glad that I'm not dating someone I really like. Talk about no time.

I was looking at the Flicker page of a photographer I know (here's are link to some pic he took of me on a ride last year) and missed home so much. Especially biking. I took it for granted since it's almost always available. No more. http://www.flickr.com/photos/photo-john/2600946518/in/photostream/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/photo-john/2600946520/in/photostream/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/photo-john/2600946520/in/photostream/)

Anyway, I wanted to take advantage of this time to get another entry in. I've got a lot of work to do this weekend. I hope it will thoroughly meet the requirements of the assignment and be completely imperfect.

Peace y'all.